stronger

when everything seems to fall apart... i took rest on your loving arms. Lord, I know, no matter how many times I give up, you will never give up on me. Thank you for these pains. I am ready for the next chapter of my life.

THIS IS YOUR LIFE.

Two weeks ago, as I was going through a very hard time at work, my officemate sent this photo through skype and every single word struck me.

THIS IS YOUR LIFE. DO WHAT YOU LOVE AND DO IT OFTEN.  yes. true. indeed. that's why it's called your life--it is yours to live. We often set boundaries. We usually conform. We have norms. We obey. We are shaped and influenced by what most people do. Our initial thinking is that if we do what we want to do, what will other people think or say about it? It is liberating to have that fearless moment to do what is unusual, to try to follow your heart's desire with no if's and but's. IF YOU DON'T LIKE SOMETHING, CHANGE IT. This is also true. Do not settle for the things that you don't like or makes you miserable and eating up all your energy. why settle if you have the choice to let go of it and move forward? But at some point, there are situations that we say to ourselves that if it is just so easy to change something in just a snap, we will, with no second thoughts, we will do it. if it's only for ourselves. sometimes.. or oftentimes, we consider the people we love, the people who depends on us. We don't decide only for ourselves. IF YOU DON'T LIKE YOUR JOB, QUIT. The owner of the company that I am working right now told us last week, " if you have to fail, fail fast. fail as fast as you can. fail as soon as possible.. then move forward." if you feel like your job is not your passion and you are just dragging yourself to work everyday, maybe, there is really a problem. think. analyze why. and then, make an action. who says failing is not a good thing? most of successful people were never afraid to fall and they experienced failure not just once but many times. If you choose to prolong the agony of working on a job that you're not passionate with, you are wasting your time, you are wasting lots of opportunity. fail but don't settle on failure. make it as a learning experience, then move on.. move forward. find a job that you don't have to work all day because it's the job that you love to do. remember that it is eating most of your time  every single day. Make the most out of it. IF YOU DON'T HAVE ENOUGH TIME, STOP WATCHING TV. I cannot relate to this because I seldom watch TV. but you know... lost time is something that we cannot cannot bring back. time is gold, yes it is. for me, it is the most important of all. It is something that I would always appreciate if given to me. Time is something that is so special that I cannot waste it. IF YOU ARE LOOKING FOR THE LOVE OF YOUR LIFE, STOP. THEY WILL BE WAITING FOR YOU WHEN YOU START DOING THINGS YOU LOVE. If I write about love, I may have run out of time. there is so much more thoughts about love. and love itself is so much more. I have been waiting for about 7 years to love again. I am not sure if there are instances that i looked for it but there was a time that I questioned God in prayer. God, why is it taking too long? and question after question after question.. But you know, there is always a reason of every waiting. may it be too long or too short. you will not find love, love will find you.You will not decide for love, because Love itself will decide for you.  STOP OVER ANALYZING, LIFE IS SIMPLE. I am guilty of this. I tend to over analyze. well, I admit, this is bad. But I am a working progress. I also taught myself not to. It is draining. and so far, I am quite good of stopping my brain from thinking bad thoughts. I can easily let go of emotions that are not healthy for me. I still suck at it seldom times but I know, i will master it, for ALL EMOTIONS ARE BEAUTIFUL, may it be good or bad.. it is still beautiful if it will make us grow. WHEN YOU EAT, APPRECIATE EVERY LAST BITE. I don't have so much to say about this, all I know is that I eat what I want and I eat a lot. and if I don't eat, my lola will get mad. So I don't actually care if I am fat, as long as I am happy. OPEN YOUR MIND, ARMS AND HEART TO NEW THINGS AND PEOPLE. WE ARE UNITED IN OUR DIFFERENCES. Indeed. Life is a highway. You can meet people every journey. and they will teach you simple things and those simple things might be big things in the future. Explore. Life is changing, and so you are. As you grow old, it doesn't mean that you are really growing. It will still depend on your day to day experience and how will you apply all the life lessons you encountered on this experiences. Life is unfair, but Life is Beautiful. ASK THE NEXT PERSON YOU SEE WHAT THEIR PASSION IS, AND SHARE YOUR INSPIRING DREAM WITH THEM. What is your passion? mine? I want to write all my simple thoughts and share it to others and get their own opinions about it. I love to sing. I love to travel. I love organizing events. My dream is to organize a grand wedding. Well, one of my dream is to get married and organize my own wedding. I want to have a bakery so that my lola will not be busy washing clothes manually and just sell pandesal and bonete in my bakery. you? what is your dream?? TRAVEL OFTEN; GETTING LOST WILL HELP YOU FIND YOURSELF. My travel in Malaysia wayback 2010 is I think if not the most memorable, is the most challenging travel that I have ever experienced in my whole life. I have found true friends who take good care of me and made sure I will be safe there. I still owe them the world until now and I hope someday, I can give back the help they have given me on those times. someday. It is a good feeling to travel alone in a not so familiar land. But i will still choose to have a good company who is willing to get lost with me. who can cry and laugh with me and who can share a shoulder when I am tired and need to rest. I really hope that before the year ends, I will be able to travel and find a quiet place to reflect, to sip a cup of coffee and have good conversations in between. 2013 is really a tough one, but I guess, as early as now, I can tap myself at the back and say, job well done. SOME OPPORTUNITIES ONLY COME ONCE, SEIZE THEM. grab every opportunities that come on your doorstep. not everyone is given the chance to have opportunities like the ones you have. even a chance of saying something to someone is a big big opportunity so don't waste it. LIFE IS ABOUT THE PEOPLE YOU MEET, AND THE THINGS YOU CREATE WITH THEM SO GO OUT AND START CREATING. Life is NOT just about the people you meet. It is about you and them. yes, start creating experiences and life changing memories with the people you meet everyday. As what I've said, every people you meet carries a lesson that can make you and change you so go ahead do not be afraid to create memories with them. LIVE YOUR DREAM AND WEAR YOUR PASSION. One of my colleagues said to me last night to purse my dream and forget about my fear. just try. it will be worth it.  LIFE IS SHORT. This became my everyday reminder for this year because of all the unexpected life events that I've managed to survive. LIFE IS SHORT, in the truest sense of those words... so live like a boss, spend your time beside the person you love the most and give them all the love that you can give, always say i love you before it's too late to tell them that you really do, have a time off if work is consuming all your time and just relax and enjoy, reward yourself with your most favorite food. travel with the person you want to make beautiful memories with. You don't really know if you will still be alive tomorrow so thank God for every beautiful morning that He is giving you. That is I think the first thing you have to do every single day that you are able to wake up again. help people even in the most simple ways. Appreciate. be thankful. and above all else, LOVE. 

 

Before the year ends..

WOW. This will be my first blog entry for the year 2013 and as I've checked my calendar,it is the last month of the year. yes! It's December. But as we always say, It's better late than never.

I miss writing. I miss having my laptop on for hours and just type my thoughts. it sucks so much to lose a laptop. really. I will save for a new one. not now..but I will have one again. There are a lot of important things first to consider before thinking of my own happiness. Everything has changed. 2013 is indeed a year of change. :)

Before the year ends, I am forcing myself to breath... I want to escape. I want to reflect. I want to travel.

I just want to escape with a backpack with all my light stuff. A bag that can carry all that I need. A bag I can depend on when I am hungry, when I am thirsty, when I want to laugh until tears fell and a bag I can hug tight when I don't have someone beside me for comfort. When I have to be strong for everyone, I am left with no strength for myself. and regaining is not easy. but then again, I know, I am fine, and I will be better and stronger.

Ask my friends, I walk really slow... I don't know.. do i need a valid explanation for this? Walking slowly gives me the time to see the things and the people around me. And when I walk through people and places and things, I always realized how blessed I am to have a home, a family, good friends and a comfortable life. Life is not easy on me, but it is not easier for others. I will always be thankful for the little blessings and the big blessings.

Photos never fail to remind me of pain, heartaches, laughter, excitement and everything in between. Photos make you travel to your world from back then. Photos are the best memory booster.

Your own personal notes are still the best. Writing your journal entry everyday is the most effective way to destress.  You will be amazed of how ugly your handwriting is from the past years and later on... it is still the same :)

I want to make a quick trip before the year ends. 2013 is the year of change. I want to reward myself for standing still.  Good job :)

nice and sweet ;)

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Someone always saves the day

Thank you bia. this means so much. :)

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Dear God, I’m Letting Go...

April 10, 2012

It’s been a while since i wrote a letter to you. I remember, I was on the other side of the world at that time, trying to win a battle. That was a year or two..  yes God, this is still me.

It was last holy week when i read a blog about letting go, and it made me think of what are the things that i still hold on to until now. It just made me think. But today, it was a perfect message coming from you. I still hold on to a lot of things.. things that matter to me the most. There are really things that i never want to let go of. I am afraid of what would life be without them. But somehow i realized, letting go isn’t the end of the world, it isn’t just the end of something, but a beginning of a wonderful thing.

Dear God, it was a hard battle when I went to another land. It was one of the hardest struggles of my life, a moment when i would just want to cry all night until i wake up in the morning. I lost that battle God, but when I surrender, I found myself in your arms, healing all the wounds. I was renewed. I became a strong soldier. You’ve made me become a great warrior. And in just a few weeks after that, you took away my father...

Dear God, That was HARD. That was HURTING. I wasn’t even ready for that. We never had enough chances. I never even had enough time to say how much i love him. I had known him when i was already old, and how fast it is for you to take him again out of my life..God, i was still in pain at that point. I still have wounds and yet, wounded again. But I accepted, I rest in your loving arms. I cried in your comfort. It’s been a year. God, I realized, that acceptance and letting go must come hand in hand. I accepted but didn’t allow myself to let go of him, it was too hard to let go when we were just starting and making memories. But He is yours God. Teach me how to remember the few but great memories of him. God, it’s been a year.. and now, it’s time to let go.

Dear God, it’s also that time I felt that I am slowly losing one of the most important persons in my life. I was too in denial. I just let her. I forced myself to believe that it was my fault, that i should have stayed here in the Philippines than leave my job. I wasn’t aware that after i gave up my job here, the next in line that i would lose is her. That was one of the most painful times of my life, to see how things are slowly changing. I have tried enough, I've prayed so hard, that someday, one day, things will go back to what it used to be. I need her. She is my bestfriend, she’s one of my strength. She has become my sister..and in just a snap, She’s gone. God, thank you for giving me the strength right now, after a year, it’s now time to accept the fact that i can never bring back the past. Thank you for giving her to me. Thank you for that special times that you’ve given to us. I may not hear her call me “best” like we always used to call each other, She may not treat me the same as before, but in my heart she will remain as what she is to me, from the beginning till the end of this lifetime. God, thank you because right now, i fully understand... and I’m letting go..

Dear God, thank you for you have given me my heart's desire.. the job that I love to do. The job that mold me to become better and improve my skills. Thank you for the friendship that I have built along with this work. I have never imagine work to be more fun without them. I know God, that you have put me into test, you broke my heart once in a while. You made me decide to hold on or to let go. But sometimes, there are just things that i don’t need to force to be okay. There is nothing to warrant the effort to regain what was lost. God, you know what is in my heart. I will forever treasure the friendship and the memories. There is an important difference between giving up and letting go..God, thank you cause I am now letting go.

Dear God, thank you for the gift of understanding. When mama doesn’t want to talk or when there are just too many strong words coming from her that became my weapon to be who I am right now. Thank you for I know, even everyday that I am with her but don’t feel like I am, I am still very grateful to have a mama like her. Tough love, as they call it... i may have cried a lot of times but i will never get tired of waiting until the time comes that I will hear her say "mahal kita anak..". Dear God, im letting go of all the sadness that comes along and help me to be strong enough to understand her... even if sometimes, i feel like giving up. I love her with all my heart and with all of me.

Dear God, thank you for friends who offered me a shelter when there are times that i don’t literally have a house to stay in, they've given me a home. Thank you for the people who are always willing to help and to listen. Thank you for the new friendships that has been built and made me see that rainbow after all the storms. Thank you for the wisdom to discern what is your will. I know God that to let go isn’t about forgetting, it isn’t about winning or losing. It’s not about dwelling in the past. Letting go is not about giving up or giving in.

Thank you for this moment Lord. I know, it took me years to realized, but now, i will surrender everything to you.. heal me with your love. I won’t force the things that i want to happen. To let go is to cherish those memories and then move on. Letting go is an ultimate experience to grow, to learn and to survive. Letting go is your strength and courage to accept what has happened and what’s instored for you in the coming years. Letting go is smoothly accepting changes. Letting go is the best way to have peace of mind and a heart that is willing to obey.  Thank you for all these things. 

Dear God, it’s time to let go. 

Iloveyou,

Ritch